Parents work hard their entire life for their children to have a good life. Children in turn must respect the sacrifices of their parents & take care of them. There is no arguing about this. But what I find astounding is that certain parents view their children as a computer program. They can enter all the personality traits in the program & get the appropriate type of child they want!!! That is what I am aginst in this post.
It is the duty of children to respect their parents & work hard in their lives in order to make their parents proud. But when parents impose on their children to have a certain type of personality, this issue gets complicated. A child must have the freedom to decide the type of clothes he wants to wear, the kind of hair style he wants, the music he wants to listen, the movies he wants to watch, the places to visit, the career he wants to persue, the person he wants to marry etc. All such things should be left to the person himself. Where parents try to work on external features of their child's personality, it is the inside that gets neglected. Parents should give priority to developing their child into a good human being & then just let him be what he wants to be. Too many times have I heard parents criticize their children's dress code, their hair & their likes & dislikes in general. Parents must learn how to give their children a certain pat on the back.
Children on the other hand must understand reponsibility. Freedom without responsibility is useless. PArents SHould give their children a free reign to do what they want to. But children must listen to their parent's advice. They must pay for the consequences of any bad choice they make on their own. Chuildren who demand freedom but come crying back to their parents if something goes wromg don't deserve freedom. Freedom with responsibility is my point here!!!!!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
The Unique Self!!!
Strange thing this. Most people try to stand out. To appear different. To find a uniqueness about themselves. Most of us try to do this consciously. But in doing so, we create a false version of our self, one after the other. We make ourselves unique just by importing a few traits from other personalities. In a way, we lie to ourselves & become something we actually are not.
the best way to be unique is to find your true self. To explore your inner self instead of forcing certain traits into your personality just for the sake of being different. But finding your true self & then being comfortable with it is not easy. One has to get rid of his/her complexes in order to do that. One has to be brvae enough to exhibit his/her true self to the world as well. One thing to keep in mind is that in exporing your unique self, you cannot affect others in an adverse manner.
This aspect is significant because of the fact that many poeple confuse themsleves by adding things to their personalities just because that is what they see aroun them. Many consciously do different & strabge things just to stand out. Many have no idea about their true self but insist on leeting others know how diferent they are jsut to please their ego. many know their unique self & their true path but decline to exhibit it in fornt the world & create a different verison of themselves for the outer world to the one they know they really are. All such conflicts give rise to a confused society & in our case, a confued nation.
the best way to be unique is to find your true self. To explore your inner self instead of forcing certain traits into your personality just for the sake of being different. But finding your true self & then being comfortable with it is not easy. One has to get rid of his/her complexes in order to do that. One has to be brvae enough to exhibit his/her true self to the world as well. One thing to keep in mind is that in exporing your unique self, you cannot affect others in an adverse manner.
This aspect is significant because of the fact that many poeple confuse themsleves by adding things to their personalities just because that is what they see aroun them. Many consciously do different & strabge things just to stand out. Many have no idea about their true self but insist on leeting others know how diferent they are jsut to please their ego. many know their unique self & their true path but decline to exhibit it in fornt the world & create a different verison of themselves for the outer world to the one they know they really are. All such conflicts give rise to a confused society & in our case, a confued nation.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Strong Voices!!!
Music most certainally has a life of its own. It inevtiably seeps into your soul. Our region of the world has been fortunaate enough to be blessed with a rich array of sufi music. We all know about the 'kallam' of peple like Baba Bulley Shah, baba Ghulaam Fareed, Shah Abdul Latif Bhatai, Allama Iqbaal, Faiz etc. But there have also been a few very inspiring voices that have sung this kalaam in a heavenly manner. Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, Abida Parveen, Reshma, Rahat Fateh Ali Khan, Sayeen Zahoor, Masooma Anwar, Javed Bashir etc.
There is something outworldly about these voices. In a dark isolated corner, you can listen to them & feel a connection. There most certainally is a soothing effect. Their beauty is that they even make melancholy feel peaceful. Most of us, no matter what our materialistic ambitions are, long for some time away from the hassle of this world. This is where these voices come into play. Unless you consciously try not to like them, these voices certainally have a universal appeal.
The point I wanted to make here is that there are many ways to finidng inner peace & this is one of them. But you have to listen to these voices with hoinesty. If you don't desire inner peace, you would not feel anything at all. We can feel if we want to feel. And for those who do, they would know what I am talking about. Sufi musiic in these strong voices is one of the 'chaalu qalbz'
There is something outworldly about these voices. In a dark isolated corner, you can listen to them & feel a connection. There most certainally is a soothing effect. Their beauty is that they even make melancholy feel peaceful. Most of us, no matter what our materialistic ambitions are, long for some time away from the hassle of this world. This is where these voices come into play. Unless you consciously try not to like them, these voices certainally have a universal appeal.
The point I wanted to make here is that there are many ways to finidng inner peace & this is one of them. But you have to listen to these voices with hoinesty. If you don't desire inner peace, you would not feel anything at all. We can feel if we want to feel. And for those who do, they would know what I am talking about. Sufi musiic in these strong voices is one of the 'chaalu qalbz'
Friday, November 27, 2009
Judgmental!!!
So when is it fair to judge people? When does advise cross into the territory of judgment?
You see the trifles around this world. So many conflicts take place around us because of our impulse to judge others. Rarely in front of the person being judged & mostly behind their back, we pass our judgments at them being wrong in some way. At times we feel obliged to do so because we feel that is is our moral duty to advise people if they are wrong. Sometimes we do it just to put them in their place.
So when is it right to cast a judgment? I believe that in cases where a person's action is directly affecting others in a bad way it is right to be judgmental. For example, theft should be renounced, unjust killing should be renounced, corruption should be renounced etc. The thing is that for all such cases formal laws are already in place so there is a definite distinction between the right & the wrong. Similarly, it is right to be judgmental against people who disrespect others.
However if we look around honestly then it would be clear that we judge people in situations which are not related to anyone else but the person himself. We judge people's fashions. We judge people's ambitions. We judge people's socializing abilities. We judge people from their success. We judge their clothing. We judge their relationships. We judge their profession. We judge everything that should not be judged.
I just hope I stop judging others & start judging myself.
You see the trifles around this world. So many conflicts take place around us because of our impulse to judge others. Rarely in front of the person being judged & mostly behind their back, we pass our judgments at them being wrong in some way. At times we feel obliged to do so because we feel that is is our moral duty to advise people if they are wrong. Sometimes we do it just to put them in their place.
So when is it right to cast a judgment? I believe that in cases where a person's action is directly affecting others in a bad way it is right to be judgmental. For example, theft should be renounced, unjust killing should be renounced, corruption should be renounced etc. The thing is that for all such cases formal laws are already in place so there is a definite distinction between the right & the wrong. Similarly, it is right to be judgmental against people who disrespect others.
However if we look around honestly then it would be clear that we judge people in situations which are not related to anyone else but the person himself. We judge people's fashions. We judge people's ambitions. We judge people's socializing abilities. We judge people from their success. We judge their clothing. We judge their relationships. We judge their profession. We judge everything that should not be judged.
I just hope I stop judging others & start judging myself.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
The Loss Of Patience
No matter how much I try to get into the spiritual side of this life I cannot escape the material side. And my work is all I have for this materialistic world. I can do my work & that is it. Nothing more nothing less. But why do I feel unhappy & stressed out when something goes wrong?
THe answer to this question I know!!! It is due to the lack of patience!! But why am I not patient? Why do I get frustrated?
To me it is a result of the fear we have of failiure. And that fear comes form the love we have for the comforts of this world. It is nothing wrong to have lofty ambitions & to desire a better quality of life. But one should always understand that all this does not come easily. Not everything will go according to plan. But all of this is what me & you know. So whats the point of this blog?
The point is that patience is a habbit. You have to work on it. And ultimately it is related to spiritua;ity. If you have achieved inner peace you can aquire patience. Hence materialism itself is dependant on spirituality!!!!
THe answer to this question I know!!! It is due to the lack of patience!! But why am I not patient? Why do I get frustrated?
To me it is a result of the fear we have of failiure. And that fear comes form the love we have for the comforts of this world. It is nothing wrong to have lofty ambitions & to desire a better quality of life. But one should always understand that all this does not come easily. Not everything will go according to plan. But all of this is what me & you know. So whats the point of this blog?
The point is that patience is a habbit. You have to work on it. And ultimately it is related to spiritua;ity. If you have achieved inner peace you can aquire patience. Hence materialism itself is dependant on spirituality!!!!
Friday, October 23, 2009
Ignorance is the new cure!!!!
There was a time a few years back when a lot of young people had been blessed with what is commonly known as 'awareness'. Some of them even got interested in sufism & the quest for achieving inner peace. To them, all the worldly achievements were insignificant. The opinion of the poeple was inconsequential. They did not judge others neither did they care about other people's judgements regarding them. They were interseted only in becoming good human beings & finding answers to bigger questions such as the purpose of their life. Some of them were obsessed with sufism. They wanted to cure themselves from the inside. However, WE are different now!!! We have forgotten our basics & shunned the blessings ALLAH showered upon us!! We have started to ignore what our aims were in the past. We have left our purpose & have gone numb. We are trying to convinve ourselves & others that the path we had choosen in the past is no longer for us to follow anymore.
One of the most significant factors in this scenario have been personal disappointments. Some of us have come to know that we are simply not good enough to do what we used to say we will do. We are probably not growing professionally as we might have liked to. We have come to realize that sufism & inner cleansing is probably a bit too hard for us. Hence, instead of trying harder we have started to deny. We are trying to convince ourselves that our original aim was wrong to begin with. We have embraced the life of slumber & ignorance but we say that we have done so in order to become normal!!!
Another factor is that we have been disappointed by the people around us. We have been badly hurt by them. We hate these people so much that we have deemed the entire human race to be the same as these people. All humans are bad & thus we cannot achieve our purpose in their presence!!!! This is nothing but an excuse because the first thing we learnt was that the people around you are insignificant, it is you who is important!!!
Finally, all of us have become slaves of temporary happiness. We deem our day good or bad depending upon whether we achieved some worldly desire or not. This is such a drift awat from our basic philiosophy of happiness in which we were told that a person that is happy & contended from the inside does not get affected by whatever good or bad that happens to him on the outside. Infact, this is the very base of sufism!!!!
Shifa, Bilal, Zahra, Meher, Sohaib, Mohammad, Sukhaina, Faraan & Ahmer!!!! I don't know if you guys would see this or not but this is what I have become because of our pact!! I don't mind the decision we made but at the moment I am suffering & so are the people who were blessed around me!!!!
One of the most significant factors in this scenario have been personal disappointments. Some of us have come to know that we are simply not good enough to do what we used to say we will do. We are probably not growing professionally as we might have liked to. We have come to realize that sufism & inner cleansing is probably a bit too hard for us. Hence, instead of trying harder we have started to deny. We are trying to convince ourselves that our original aim was wrong to begin with. We have embraced the life of slumber & ignorance but we say that we have done so in order to become normal!!!
Another factor is that we have been disappointed by the people around us. We have been badly hurt by them. We hate these people so much that we have deemed the entire human race to be the same as these people. All humans are bad & thus we cannot achieve our purpose in their presence!!!! This is nothing but an excuse because the first thing we learnt was that the people around you are insignificant, it is you who is important!!!
Finally, all of us have become slaves of temporary happiness. We deem our day good or bad depending upon whether we achieved some worldly desire or not. This is such a drift awat from our basic philiosophy of happiness in which we were told that a person that is happy & contended from the inside does not get affected by whatever good or bad that happens to him on the outside. Infact, this is the very base of sufism!!!!
Shifa, Bilal, Zahra, Meher, Sohaib, Mohammad, Sukhaina, Faraan & Ahmer!!!! I don't know if you guys would see this or not but this is what I have become because of our pact!! I don't mind the decision we made but at the moment I am suffering & so are the people who were blessed around me!!!!
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Going Back!!!!
Salam to all!!!
Today I will be rambling on how circumstances within my inner self have changed over the past few years & how am I trying to reconnect with the things I have lost.
One thing that I have learnt recently refers to the time we spent on things such as professional work, academiics, managing finances, household work etc. The physical & mental toll of this work laves most of us tired so that we can't do much else. As a result, a person like me finds it difficult to do things I used to do back in my college days. The world of spirituality seemed so vast back then. But now I feel rather disconnected from such a wonderful time.
An unfortunate result of this situation is that I feel changed fdrom the inside. I feel that time constraints have altered my inner self. I was certainally a lot closer to sufism & spirituality 5 ot 6 years ago than what I am now.
Hence I am trying desperately not to let my work effect what is the real aim of my life ... the quest for inner peace!!!! I am trying to go back to thois places which hold spiritual importance for me. But more importantly, I am trying to redefine my priorities. And I think you guys should also have a look at the priorities of your lives!!!!
Today I will be rambling on how circumstances within my inner self have changed over the past few years & how am I trying to reconnect with the things I have lost.
One thing that I have learnt recently refers to the time we spent on things such as professional work, academiics, managing finances, household work etc. The physical & mental toll of this work laves most of us tired so that we can't do much else. As a result, a person like me finds it difficult to do things I used to do back in my college days. The world of spirituality seemed so vast back then. But now I feel rather disconnected from such a wonderful time.
An unfortunate result of this situation is that I feel changed fdrom the inside. I feel that time constraints have altered my inner self. I was certainally a lot closer to sufism & spirituality 5 ot 6 years ago than what I am now.
Hence I am trying desperately not to let my work effect what is the real aim of my life ... the quest for inner peace!!!! I am trying to go back to thois places which hold spiritual importance for me. But more importantly, I am trying to redefine my priorities. And I think you guys should also have a look at the priorities of your lives!!!!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Sufism & Cloud 9
Now this one is a bit dark. I must make it perfectly clear that I am not talking about alcohol in this post. The word 'drugs' refers to those stimulants that make you go high but you don't lose your sense of right or wrong!!!!
I was asked a few days ago by a friend about the difference between malangs & drug addicts. Do people enter the realm of spirituality once they go high? Does cloud 9 exist in the road map of spirituality? I being the family protected always present in the class kind of geek told him that I had never gone high. Unfortunately I haven't also been able to enter the realms of spirituality. All I know are experiences of other people which is a pathetic thing. Nonetheless I told him what I understand. The whole point of malangi is to let go of the voice of ego inside you which in turn dictates your brain. In essence, you have to part ways with your brain & open your heart to the feeling of your true self. For this purpose, people use various methods such as meditation, yoga & music. None of these methods are injurious to our health. Drugs on the other hand are a totally different matter. I believe from what I have observed is that people who are high feel the same way as the malang does. Things become clearer without using your mind. And people do get the chance to delve into their inner selves rather easily. However, the doctors of course tell us that this is not a healthy practice. I guess it all comes down to how much you value your life? How much are you fed up with the daily grind of your life? How pathetic you think your life is? How much do you value this experience of mindlessness?
I was asked a few days ago by a friend about the difference between malangs & drug addicts. Do people enter the realm of spirituality once they go high? Does cloud 9 exist in the road map of spirituality? I being the family protected always present in the class kind of geek told him that I had never gone high. Unfortunately I haven't also been able to enter the realms of spirituality. All I know are experiences of other people which is a pathetic thing. Nonetheless I told him what I understand. The whole point of malangi is to let go of the voice of ego inside you which in turn dictates your brain. In essence, you have to part ways with your brain & open your heart to the feeling of your true self. For this purpose, people use various methods such as meditation, yoga & music. None of these methods are injurious to our health. Drugs on the other hand are a totally different matter. I believe from what I have observed is that people who are high feel the same way as the malang does. Things become clearer without using your mind. And people do get the chance to delve into their inner selves rather easily. However, the doctors of course tell us that this is not a healthy practice. I guess it all comes down to how much you value your life? How much are you fed up with the daily grind of your life? How pathetic you think your life is? How much do you value this experience of mindlessness?
Sunday, August 30, 2009
My hands are tied!!!!
Hello!!!! For quite some time I have been trying to come out of my shell and get some sort of human contact. But my hands are tied. Guess I need some madness. Some mad people to help me lose my sanity. Lose this sense of being politically correct all the time. Lose this sense of coming out from a conversation with my dignity preserved. Somehow I have to learn how to take the plunge. I have stuttered & fallen as a result. I don't trust others and that's fair enough because they don't trust me either. But is there no one who trusts me but is waiting for me to take the first clear step. I feel as if I am too structured. Always trying to say the right thing but why isn't the essence of my conversation getting through? Why am I not trustworthy???????????????????????
Friday, August 14, 2009
Salvation Day!!!!!!!!
Its the 14 the of August & although we like to use the word 'INDEPENDENCE DAY' for this occasion I have gone for Salvation Day. Salvation in essence means freedom from slavery. That is the issue for the blog today. We are slaves as a nation & as individuals as well. As individuals, we are slaves to traditions, other people's standards of right & wrong, our ego & the urge for self respect. As a nation we are intellectually slaves to the west. We are slaves of our laziness & dislike for hard work. We are slaves to our habit of giving excuses for our shortcomings. Slaves of our urge to procure more & more money. Slaves of religion. Slaves of the world's superpowers. Slaves of our system. And so much more.
Somehow we have to get salvation for ourselves first then our nation. But our ego would never allow that to happen.
Somehow we have to get salvation for ourselves first then our nation. But our ego would never allow that to happen.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
The Death of Innocence!!!
Salam!!!
It is said in the Quran that the murder of one human being is the death of the entire humanity. But looking at the scenarios that sorround me & the people I talk to most of the time, there is a distinct lack of trust on humanity. It is as if the the first serious betrayal of our lives deems all other humans untrustworthy as well. As if the lesson given by Quran extends to human behaviour as well that the death of innocence in one person kills the innocence in evryone else too. If people in general were hypocrites & never showed you their true selves then does that deem everyone untrustworthy? How can humanity survive if we don't trust human beings? Or are we already in a situation where its too late & it will now be a case of every person for himslef/herself. I feel that human association is one of the most significant aspects of life yet we can't trust anyone. Is it a pitiful state or is it a sign that the end has come?
It is said in the Quran that the murder of one human being is the death of the entire humanity. But looking at the scenarios that sorround me & the people I talk to most of the time, there is a distinct lack of trust on humanity. It is as if the the first serious betrayal of our lives deems all other humans untrustworthy as well. As if the lesson given by Quran extends to human behaviour as well that the death of innocence in one person kills the innocence in evryone else too. If people in general were hypocrites & never showed you their true selves then does that deem everyone untrustworthy? How can humanity survive if we don't trust human beings? Or are we already in a situation where its too late & it will now be a case of every person for himslef/herself. I feel that human association is one of the most significant aspects of life yet we can't trust anyone. Is it a pitiful state or is it a sign that the end has come?
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Inner Solace!!!!!
'I am very tense today'
'Bs g zindagi mein bari pareshani hai'
'I am tired of all this hassle that sorroubds my life'
These are the sort of sentences which all of us have said & heard. Finding solace in life is our major quest. Sakoon ki talash hamara bunyadi maqsad hai. But the irony is that the more we try the more restless we become. Is it a matter of being impatient? Are we not thankful enough for what Allah has given us? Is it a matter of us not woking hard enough & blaming luck for our failures? Hardwork, patience & thankfulness are some of the ways which people have suggested for finding peace.
Since we all listen to so many things I thought that I might also give you something to think about. For me, more than anything else, it is the peace that we create in our innner selves that dictates everything else. Jis ne baatin ka sakoon paida kr liya wohi kamiab hai. Life will never stand still. It will keep moving & regardless of whether you want to move with it or not, you would always be required to make tough decisions & face adverse situtaions. You would always feel tired & fed up of this life & there will be no way out unless you create your peace from the inside. That is what sufim tells me. Although you would be living in an extrinsic world, you would have to purify your inner self first.
So the bottom line is that if you want peace in your life, you would have to create it yourself from the inside.
Regards
ZAIN
'Bs g zindagi mein bari pareshani hai'
'I am tired of all this hassle that sorroubds my life'
These are the sort of sentences which all of us have said & heard. Finding solace in life is our major quest. Sakoon ki talash hamara bunyadi maqsad hai. But the irony is that the more we try the more restless we become. Is it a matter of being impatient? Are we not thankful enough for what Allah has given us? Is it a matter of us not woking hard enough & blaming luck for our failures? Hardwork, patience & thankfulness are some of the ways which people have suggested for finding peace.
Since we all listen to so many things I thought that I might also give you something to think about. For me, more than anything else, it is the peace that we create in our innner selves that dictates everything else. Jis ne baatin ka sakoon paida kr liya wohi kamiab hai. Life will never stand still. It will keep moving & regardless of whether you want to move with it or not, you would always be required to make tough decisions & face adverse situtaions. You would always feel tired & fed up of this life & there will be no way out unless you create your peace from the inside. That is what sufim tells me. Although you would be living in an extrinsic world, you would have to purify your inner self first.
So the bottom line is that if you want peace in your life, you would have to create it yourself from the inside.
Regards
ZAIN
Monday, July 20, 2009
Choosing the Foced Choice
Salam!!!! Today is my first ramling. And I am going to write something that came to my mind last night.
I have recently completed my bachelors in engineering & started a job. However like so many other people, I don't feel emotionally connected to my work. Infact I feel more comfortable when I am writing as I have a tendency for urdu literartue & story writing. The irony is that I am able to do fulfil the demands of my work well enough. So may be its the job that is not challenging eough. However in the time of recession one can't really choose either. Its a catch 22 but I feel most of us go through the same state of mind often enough. Is there always a sense of non-fulfillment no matter what we do?
RegardsZAIN
I have recently completed my bachelors in engineering & started a job. However like so many other people, I don't feel emotionally connected to my work. Infact I feel more comfortable when I am writing as I have a tendency for urdu literartue & story writing. The irony is that I am able to do fulfil the demands of my work well enough. So may be its the job that is not challenging eough. However in the time of recession one can't really choose either. Its a catch 22 but I feel most of us go through the same state of mind often enough. Is there always a sense of non-fulfillment no matter what we do?
RegardsZAIN
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