So when is it fair to judge people? When does advise cross into the territory of judgment?
You see the trifles around this world. So many conflicts take place around us because of our impulse to judge others. Rarely in front of the person being judged & mostly behind their back, we pass our judgments at them being wrong in some way. At times we feel obliged to do so because we feel that is is our moral duty to advise people if they are wrong. Sometimes we do it just to put them in their place.
So when is it right to cast a judgment? I believe that in cases where a person's action is directly affecting others in a bad way it is right to be judgmental. For example, theft should be renounced, unjust killing should be renounced, corruption should be renounced etc. The thing is that for all such cases formal laws are already in place so there is a definite distinction between the right & the wrong. Similarly, it is right to be judgmental against people who disrespect others.
However if we look around honestly then it would be clear that we judge people in situations which are not related to anyone else but the person himself. We judge people's fashions. We judge people's ambitions. We judge people's socializing abilities. We judge people from their success. We judge their clothing. We judge their relationships. We judge their profession. We judge everything that should not be judged.
I just hope I stop judging others & start judging myself.
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Hi Zain,
ReplyDeleteAdvice is given when your experience of a certain situation allows you to "perceive" something about the situation of other person and also the reactions of that person to the situation. Its never really fair to "Judge" anybody. I hope that you must have the prior understanding of the difference between "Perception" and "Judgment".
Judgment is bad because it is very RIGID concept and it fails to fully understand the ever changing flexible nature of Human.So,in this way I believe that its unfair to Judge people.
We are certainly allowed to make observations, distinctions and evaluations about people, But, We don't have what it takes to be JUDGMENTAL and that is why there is someone supreme above the skies who has the authority to JUDGE.
According to a Psychological study the basic flaw is : people are accustomed to judge other people on the basis of the behavior and NOT on the basis of Circumstances or the situation which is allowing or pressurizing that person to ACT/BEHAVE in certain way.The person might not be that way but the situation made him BEHAVE in that way. For example: "She is flirtatious because she ditched my brother."
(My brother never took the marriage proposal thing seriously and due to this she got hurt and angry and left my brother.)
The statement in bracket is "Perception" and the statement in comma is "Judgment" .
Well your post is quite right.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I can extend from it is when is it right for us to present our perception? Or when is it fair tyo advise someone?
I don't think that there is something wrong with giving advice as long as a person doesn't become obsessive about his/her advice. It is right at anytime to advice the person in polite and well weighed words which don't look like pushing or dominating to that person.
ReplyDeleteIf we see from others point of view I believe that people don't like to be adviced unless they really trust the intelligence,matuity and experience of the advisor.
I don't know what to say about perception.
Yehi to baat hai yaar. People get obsessed with their advice. One should give his/her advice but don't expect your advice to be accepted all the time. Give your advice & leave it to the other person & don't judge that person if he/she does not accept your advice!!
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